Christmas Crackers on Yom Kippur

‘Tis the season to be socially-awkward

“Oy to the world!” said the Jewish News when Jewish Policy Research (‘JPR’) reported that 28% of British Jews sometimes or always put up a Christmas tree.

Christmas trees may signify people shifting from Jewish to non-Jewish identity, Heaven forbid.

Perhaps the root cause of Jews putting up Christmas trees (pun intended), is the same as for other people: they create opportunities for social connection. Anecdotally, British Jews do gather during the Christmas holidays.

The purpose of Christmas crackers is clearer still. Pull a cracker, laugh at the joke, put on the silly hat and win the toy. You may even have a conversation. A gunpowder bang and a groanworthy gag provide opportunities for semi-formalised chat. These gentle rituals are intended to nudge Christmas lunch towards warmth and informality.

Do they know it’s Elul?

As JPR noted, 13% of synagogue members[1] and 30% of those who describe themselves as “not [a] synagogue member, but belong/attend” put up Christmas trees. Some of these may well be people who attend shul a few times a year.

If one attends shul just for a couple of hours a year, one’s comprehension and engagement are likely to be lower than for regulars. This is not a judgment. A few hours are though, time enough to feel formality, solemnity and the relentless turning of pages by scores or hundreds of people. Perhaps also some ‘yirat Shamayim’, fear of Heaven.

This institutional moment of Judaism is what Mike Uram, a Conservative rabbi in the United States, labels the ‘Yom Kippur paradigm’. This contrasts with the informal ‘Pesach paradigm’:

Yom Kippur Paradigm	Pesach Paradigm
Shul-based, congregational	Home-based, familial
Silence desirable	Interruptions, questions, comments are desirable
Proscriptive	Customisable
Fixed communal tradition	Shifting family tradition
Introspective	Interpersonal
Payment; membership; allocated seats	No payment; no membership; seats around the table
No shtick	The shtickier the better
Children often go somewhere else	Children play key roles

The Days of Awe - and connection?

If the Yom Kippur paradigm is the only way one experiences Judaism, then that is a Judaism with scant opportunity for relationships between Jews. No introduction is made to the stranger in the next seat, and no warm welcome greets the infrequent attendee. There is no ‘cracker equivalent’. Lehavdil, there may be no ‘Pesach paradigm’ element.

Introducing informality into the services on the holiest days of the year may be unwise. There is a time for strict formality, silence, aloneness in the crowd, and the Yamim Noraim are that time.

Nevertheless, the adoption of non-Jewish festivals and their social rituals, requires our attention (not our imitation). If people somewhat at the fringes of our community are finding connection elsewhere, we should examine the Jewish experiences that remain in their lives and ask where 'Pesach paradigm' characteristics could be introduced.

I do not know what might work in your communities. Perhaps there could be short structured conversations between neighbours. Maybe members could be encouraged at Rosh Hashanah to invite new people to break the fast with them after Yom Kippur. A Q&A or explanatory service should probably have introductions, personal sharing of experiences and small breakout groups. Maybe some of the relational ideas here might be adapted.

But there is little mystery behind Jews and Christmas trees and certainly nothing incomprehensible about Jews pulling crackers. People want connection. The challenge is that, for many Jews, the Yamim Noraim are full of mystery and are incomprehensible. Making connections is something we can do, and it may be essential to removing those barriers. And we don’t need trees, or crackers. We just need to plant a few Pesachdik ideas in our holiest days.

[1] non-denominationally specific